Five fun facts about the lady downstairs

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By: Megan Graves, Columnist

For one of my columns last year, I listed five fun facts about periods, because I think it’s important to: 1) Recognize how rad women’s bodies are and 2) Start some conversations about the parts of those rad bodies that we don’t seem to talk about very often. I’d like to start some of those conversations again.

This week’s article is about the bad mamma jamma herself: the vagina.

Let’s do this.

1) The word “vagina” was originally a latin word which meant the “sheath of a sword.” So, it’s a little badass and a little funny.

2) It can lift, bro. Vaginal weightlifting is a real thing that works with the same goal in mind as Kegel exercises (to strengthen the pelvic floor). Tatyana Kozhevnikova currently holds the world record at 31 pounds. This woman lifted 31 pounds with her vagina.

3) Sharks produce a substance, called squalene, in their livers. Why is this relevant? Because vaginas produce it, too! In that sense, women are (vaguely) biologically similar to the ocean’s’ biggest predators. I can dig it!

4) Ya girl keeps herself tidy even when your life is a mess. Vaginas have a really sensitive pH balance (3.8-4.5) and they’re pretty good at keeping it in check. In fact, intravaginal washes marketed with the promise of keeping you fresh can actually mess up that pH and ruin all of your homegirl’s hard work. Unless instructed by a gynecologist, don’t use ‘em!

She’s got it under control.

5) At 8,000, the average clitoris has twice as many nerve endings as the average penis. Just sayin’.

Now it’s time for a not so fun fact.

To keep your partner in crime healthy and happy, you should visit your gynecologist at least once a year for a check up and testing. Both Chlamydia and Gonorrhea often show no symptoms in women, so don’t just trust that you’ll know if something is off.

I know it’s unpleasant. I know it’s uncomfortable, but it’s so, so important!

I mean, look at all your vagina can do — not including all she goes through with periods and, my god, childbirth. Keep yourself healthy, use protection and never be embarrassed of that bad mamma jamma between your legs.

She’s basically a weight-lifting shark…in some aspects…kind of…and if you don’t buy that, I mean, without vaginas we couldn’t create life itself.

It really doesn’t get more badass than that.

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