Picking up the pieces after a breakup

By: Miranda Mowrey, Columnist

Breakups are hard. When you spend countless hours sharing laughs, cries, and unforgettable memories with someone, you end up forming a meaningful bond with that person. Then, all of the sudden, everything abruptly ends.

Time goes on and things get easier, but six months later when you’re cleaning your room, you find a crumbled-up polaroid of two people who were once in love, so you sit on the floor and cry and ask yourself if you will ever feel okay again.

After experiencing the pain of ending a five-year relationship, I have learned that getting over a boyfriend or girlfriend takes a combination of time, effort, good friends, and midnight drives blasting Taylor Swift on repeat.

But, to initially move on, you must actively shift your energy from caring about your ex and onto caring for yourself. When dating, it is common to inadvertently stop paying attention to some of your own needs and devote too much attention to the needs of your partner. Enjoy this time where you are able to focus on building the best version of yourself by trying new things and taking risks.

After my breakup, I delved deeply into the world of music, quit the office job I hated, discovered my passion for writing and worked up the courage to write for the school newspaper. Although these things do not necessarily take away from the pain of the breakup, I nevertheless feel empowered by the fact that I am in control of my own happiness.

Oh, and by the way, nothing good ever comes from texting, calling or seeing your ex post-breakup. Even though you probably miss them and are itching to see them, just remember that afterwards you will be back at square one, just as confused as ever. When you feel tempted to send that text, call up your mom or a friend and talk it out with them instead. You may find that all you needed was to let off some steam and voice your feelings aloud.

No matter how many times you have heard it, time really does change everything –  even the most raw and painful emotions. As you ride out this healing process, be comforted in the fact that you, and only you, are in control of your own happiness. Day by day, you will wake up having a greater sense of who you are, and one day you will be ready to take the risk with love again. Because even though love can be painful, it is sometimes the sweetest thing in the world.

 

Leave a Reply