Stumpy’s Hatchet House hits a bullseye in Towson

By: Matthew Twillman, Contributing Writer

After opening on June 2, Stumpy’s Hatchet House has attracted students and employees from nearby businesses to toss axes in uptown. For $24.99 per person, you and three friends can spend an hour living your flannel-textured dreams.

Stumpy’s invited The Towerlight to throw axes in uptown so we could experience the fun for ourselves (disclaimer: Stumpy’s treated The Towerlight and we did not pay for the tickets ourselves for this particular excursion). Upon arrival, a Stumpy’s staff member, an “axe-coach” had every member of our party sign a waiver — for obvious reasons. 

If you’re thinking about tossing axes, you’ll have to be sure to wear the proper gear. Once you’ve donned your flannel and your finest beanie, make sure you wear closed-toed shoes! Otherwise, you’re not throwin’!

After getting the run-down of the rules, the axe-coach taught our group how to throw-down! We were all total novices, so our results at first were exactly what you’d expect — no bullseyes at first. The staff was incredibly helpful not just on honing-in our skill and technique, but creating a judgment-free environment that ensured our success… and bullseye hits.

There are some who might worry about the safety of throwing sharp axes around indoors. But rest assured! “Whether you’re 18, whether you’re 72, you go through the training process,” said Stumpy’s Event Sales Manager Shanyon Vann. 

Super friendly and supportive staff are always around to check up on everyone. As axe-coach Eli Leek said it, “the more you do it, the better you’re going to feel about it.” It is truly a rel-axe-d setting, and well worth the trip.

Although Stumpy’s is BYOB (beer and wine only), Vann noted that Stumpy’s does provide snacks and finger-foods every so often. Stumpy’s partners with local businesses and breweries such as The Pointe’s Towson location and Charles Village Pub. Not only is Stumpy’s BYOB, it is also BYOF – you can order food in or bring it in with you. Other amenities include jukeboxes, games, television, and more. As Vann put it, “We’re a party first.” It most certainly showed! “We’re not a warehouse,” Leek added. “We’re that cozy home feel.”

As the evening progressed, we were getting better and better. Bulleyes were hit, and the axes stuck satisfyingly to the wooden boards throughout the night. We rang the “bullseye bell” every time we hit that coveted circle of red paint on the targets. Once you work out that rhythm, you feel absolutely unstoppable. As Leek put it, the experience is “empowering,” and it truly is. Hurling an axe at a target while surrounded by your friends and the hatchet-based support system that is Stumpy’s will leave you feeling capable of doing anything.

Stumpy’s Hatchet House is well worth the trip just down the road at this brand-new Towson location. Hatchet throwing is a simple, yet fun and exhilarating experience, and Stumpy’s has taken such a simple thing and made it an all-out hatchet party. The environment is splendid, and leaves you dying to come back for more. Be it a corporate retreat, birthday party, or just a bunch of friends looking for a chill but kick-axe way to spend an evening, Stumpy’s is the place for you.